More Bizarreness

G. Johnston: OK, a limosine that can fly. Now I have seen everything.
Spottswoode: Really? Have you seen a man eat his own head?
G. Johnston: No.
Spottswoode: So then, you haven't seen everything.

Team America, World Police

I just finished playing 2000 raked hands at Empire to get their juicy February bonus and I thought I'd share some of the more amusing hands from the session. I suppose I still haven't seen everything in poker, but after this run of cards I must be pretty close.

***** Hand History for Game 2927943486 *****
0/0 Texas Hold'em Game Table (NL) - Sun Feb 26 18:20:52 EST 2006
Table Table 36632 (6 max) (Real Money) -- Seat 6 is the button
Total number of players : 6
Seat 1: diveunderh20 ( $54.80)
Seat 2: leggo1234 ( $28.20)
Seat 3: Ihateseals ( $39.93)
Seat 4: bobjimmyjoe2 ( $50.10)
Seat 5: fishy1777 ( $50.28)
Seat 6: rutlandmedic ( $52.97)
diveunderh20 posts small blind (0.25)
leggo1234 posts big blind (0.50)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to fishy1777 [ Ks, Kc ]
Ihateseals folds.
bobjimmyjoe2 folds.
fishy1777 raises (2) to 2
rutlandmedic raises (3.50) to 3.50
diveunderh20 folds.
leggo1234 folds.

I decided to min reraise him again to get a better sense of his strength. I didn't have any data on the dude so if he had decided to push all in at this point it would be a tough decision.

fishy1777 raises (3) to 5
rutlandmedic raises (3) to 6.50

Oh shit, does he have AA? Need to at least see the flop.

fishy1777 calls (1.50)
** Dealing Flop ** : [ 3s, 7d, 9h ]
fishy1777 checks.
rutlandmedic bets (5)
fishy1777 calls (5)

Kind of a weak bet given the pot size at this point. As Sammy Farha says, I call a weak bet. You make a strong bet, maybe I fold.

** Dealing Turn ** : [ 6d ]
fishy1777 checks.
rutlandmedic bets (0.50)
fishy1777 calls (0.50)

What the hell is that? Does he have AA and he's just trying to milk me? Now I'm totally confused.

** Dealing River ** : [ Th ]
fishy1777 checks.
rutlandmedic bets (5)

Ah, back to the $5 bet. I figure I'm either way ahead or way behind now, making a call the only option.

fishy1777 calls (5)
** Summary **
Main Pot: $33.05 | Rake: $1.70
Board: [ 3s 7d 9h 6d Th ]
diveunderh20 balance $54.55, lost $0.25 (folded)
leggo1234 balance $27.70, lost $0.50 (folded)
Ihateseals balance $39.93, didn't bet (folded)
bobjimmyjoe2 balance $50.10, didn't bet (folded)
fishy1777 balance $66.33, bet $17, collected $33.05, net +$16.05 [ Ks Kc ] [ a pair of kings -- Ks,Kc,Th,9h,7d ]
rutlandmedic balance $35.97, lost $17 [ 4h Qc ] [ high card queen -- Qc,Th,9h,7d,6d ]

Q4 offsuit? Wow. You occasionally run across these people who just short circuit inexplicably, and it sure is nice to have cowboys when they do.


Nothing too fascinating about this hand. I just think it's funny that the guy pretty much knew he was totally fucked, yet still called my reraise. Oh yeah, and that the turn and river had me sweating cynder blocks.

***** Hand History for Game 2927091985 *****
0/0 Texas Hold'em Game Table (NL) - Fri Feb 24 20:18:48 EST 2006
Table Table 54822 (6 max) (No DP) (Real Money) -- Seat 3 is the button
Total number of players : 6
Seat 1: BuddyR43 ( $49)
Seat 2: cognac333 ( $65.40)
Seat 3: JASPER244 ( $27.50)
Seat 4: Turbotruth ( $51.40)
Seat 5: fishy1777 ( $49.25)
Seat 6: NCAAfanatic ( $135.97)
Turbotruth posts small blind (0.25)
Ajaxkicker posts big blind (0.50)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to fishy1777 [ 9d, 9s ]
BuddyR43 calls (0.50)
cognac333 folds.
JASPER244 raises (1) to 1
Turbotruth calls (0.75)
Ajaxkicker calls (0.50)
BuddyR43 calls (0.50)
** Dealing Flop ** : [ 9c, 6c, Jh ]
Turbotruth checks.
fishy1777bets (0.50)
BuddyR43 calls (0.50)
JASPER244 raises (1) to 1
Turbotruth calls (1)
fishy1777 raises (3.50) to 4
BuddyR43 calls (3.50)
JASPER244 raises (6) to 7
Turbotruth calls (6)
fishy1777 raises (41) to 45
JASPER244: lol
JASPER244: oh well
BuddyR43 folds.
JASPER244 calls (19.50)
JASPER244 is all-In.
Turbotruth folds.
** Dealing Turn ** : [ Kc ]
** Dealing River ** : [ Qc ]
Creating Main Pot with $66 with JASPER244
** Summary **
Main Pot: $66 | Side Pot 1: $18.50 | Rake: $2
Board: [ 9c 6c Jh Kc Qc ]
BuddyR43 balance $44, lost $5 (folded)
cognac333 balance $65.40, didn't bet (folded)
JASPER244 balance $0, lost $27.50 [ Jd Qs ] [ two pairs, queens and jacks -- Kc,Qs,Qc,Jd,Jh ]
Turbotruth balance $43.40, lost $8 (folded)
fishy1777 balance $87.75, bet $46, collected $84.50, net +$38.50 [ 9d 9s ] [ three of a kind, nines -- Kc,Qc,9d,9s,9c ]
NCAAfanatic balance $135.97, sits out

Dang. After that turn and river card I figured the pot was lost for sure. Guess that's just how the poker gods have fun jerking people.


***** Hand History for Game 2927075692 *****
0/0 Texas Hold'em Game Table (NL) - Fri Feb 24 19:36:35 EST 2006
Table Table 36554 (6 max) (Real Money) -- Seat 4 is the button
Total number of players : 5
Seat 2: Lastat699 ( $45.76)
Seat 3: Thorup1111 ( $79.83)
Seat 4: lydietaluy ( $50.40)
Seat 5: fishy1777 ( $50.85)
Seat 6: cicci81 ( $72.81)
Ajaxkicker posts small blind (0.25)
cicci81 posts big blind (0.50)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Ajaxkicker [ Kh, Kc ]
Lastat699 calls (0.50)
Thorup1111 calls (0.50)
lydietaluy calls (0.50)
fishy1777 raises (2.75) to 3
cicci81 calls (2.50)
Lastat699 folds.
Thorup1111 raises (9.50) to 10
lydietaluy folds.
fishy1777 calls (7)
cicci81 calls (7)
** Dealing Flop ** : [ 7s, 6d, 8h ]
fishy1777 checks.
cicci81 bets (15)
Thorup1111 raises (30) to 30
fishy1777 folds.
cicci81 raises (47.81) to 62.81
cicci81 is all-In.
Thorup1111 calls (32.81)
** Dealing Turn ** : [ Th ]
** Dealing River ** : [ Jh ]
Creating Main Pot with $154.62 with cicci81
** Summary **
Main Pot: $154.62 | | Rake: $2
Board: [ 7s 6d 8h Th Jh ]
sunley13 balance $50, sits out
Lastat699 balance $45.26, lost $0.50 (folded)
Thorup1111 balance $84.33, bet $72.81, collected $77.31, net +$4.50 [ As Ah ] [ a pair of aces -- As,Ah,Jh,Th,8h ]
lydietaluy balance $49.90, lost $0.50 (folded)
fishy1777 balance $40.85, lost $10 (folded)
cicci81 balance $77.31, bet $72.81, collected $77.31, net +$4.50 [ Ac Ad ] [ a pair of aces -- Ac,Ad,Jh,Th,8h ]

How is it that everybody at this site raises preflop with crap like QJ and A7 but they never do it with AA or KK unless someone has already raise in front of them (and even then sometimes, even with a bunch of other donks in the pot). They're just begging to get their aces cracked and lose a huge pot, but would be mortified if they ever just stole the blinds with them. People have to be so damn sneaky. Sometimes I find myself getting annoyed with it, but really it's a good thing once you realize that so many people play this way (ie so badly).



On this next hand I feel that Mango man played his holding just a smidgen too aggressively preflop, but perhaps I still have much to learn concerning the supreme power of the 5 3 offsuit. Plus it is essential that you deceive your opponent at all times. He sure as hell succeeded in that department.

***** Hand History for Game 2926321846 *****
0/0 Texas Hold'em Game Table (NL) - Wed Feb 22 21:51:10 EST 2006
Table Table 36588 (6 max) (Real Money) -- Seat 1 is the button
Total number of players : 4
Seat 1: niborreuas ( $101.29)
Seat 3: fishy1777 ( $73.65)
Seat 4: fleerflair ( $20.32)
Seat 5: SurMango ( $58.29)
jwtyner123 posts small blind (0.25)
fleerflair posts big blind (0.50)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to jwtyner123 [ Qd, Qs ]
SurMango: told ya biatch
SurMango raises (1) to 1
niborreuas folds.
fishy1777 raises (3.25) to 3.50
fleerflair folds.
SurMango raises (5) to 6
fishy1777 calls (2.50)
** Dealing Flop ** : [ Jc, 9s, 3h ]
fishy1777 checks.
SurMango bets (5)
fishy1777 calls (5)
** Dealing Turn ** : [ 4d ]
fishy1777 checks.
SurMango bets (35)
fishy1777 raises (62.65) to 62.65
fishy1777 is all-In.
SurMango calls (12.29)
SurMango is all-In.
** Dealing River ** : [ 2s ]
Creating Main Pot with $115.08 with SurMango
Creating Side Pot 1 with $15.36 with fishy1777
** Summary **
Main Pot: $115.08 | Side Pot 1: $15.36 | Rake: $2
Board: [ Jc 9s 3h 4d 2s ]
niborreuas balance $101.29, didn't bet (folded)
fishy1777 balance $130.44, bet $73.65, collected $130.44, net +$56.79 [ Qd Qs ] [ a pair of queens -- Qd,Qs,Jc,9s,4d ]
fleerflair balance $19.82, lost $0.50 (folded)
SurMango balance $0, lost $58.29 [ 5c 3s ] [ a pair of threes -- Jc,9s,5c,3s,3h ]

Tales from 5 max

So last night I was playing some $2/4 five max at Pokerroom. I was in the small blind with KQ. It was folded to the button, and I was really hoping he wouldn't raise cause I didn't want to pay $3 more to see the flop. Plus just calling in that situation is not really an option. You're gotta fold or reraise in order to get out the big blind. Anyway the guy on the button just calls, which tells you immediately that he's a novice cause anyone else would know that any hand worth playing in that spot is worth a raise. So I was like hell yeah getting 5:1 with my KQ. I called and the bb checked. The flop was pretty dreamy: Q Q Q. Yeah, that's the third time in my life that's happened. So I figure nobody can have an ace or a pair cause there was no raise preflop so I decided to slowplay it and check. Note the criteria that must be fulfilled in order to make slowplaying correct according to Sklansky in the best book ever, The Theory of Poker: 1) your hand must be very strong. 2) The pot must be small. 3) there must be a good chance that your opponents will not call a bet now but that giving them a free card will make them a second best hand (e.g. a full house) with which they will pay you off. With all the criteria fulfilled, I checked, as did both opponents. The turn was a K which was not too bad, although I would have preferred a J or a T, so I bet out. The big blind immediately folded but the button raised!! Bingo, he has a K!! I reraised and he capped it. I led out again on the river, and yet again he raised, I reraised, and he capped. I couldn't resist the urge to trash talk so before I called his last raise I typed in "YOU ROCK!!!" And I could not believe what he showed: AA. Wow. Then I typed in "I've never seen aces played so badly before." One or two hands later the guy left the table. I guess he couldn't handle having his aces go down to a measly KQ offsuit. But he really did deserve it playing that way. There's just nothing better than people who can't resist the urge to check/call when they have the best hand but then go berserk once it turns into a steaming pile.